"So", was what i said. "And were's the catch? The skeletons in your closet?" "There are none", was what he said, and I didn't believed a word.

And I saw your smile, your laughing eyes, when you kissed me good night, a houndred times. And before I fell asleep, I just wondered where you have been all this time...

And my world feels like shades of grey. Wrapped in plastic bubbles, filled with dusty shades of memories. I feel empty inside. And outside... I can't even feel my own skin, the borders of my body and mind, I feel like painfully fading. I miss being part of something. I miss being loved and noticed.

There were these seconds were i believed that things were about to change. But i was wrong, and i was an idiot.

I don't miss who we were. But I miss who we could have been.

Zuckerwatten - Rosarot

Letztens hab ich einen Artikel über die Twilight.Manie gelesen, in dem der Autor sich darüber verwundert zeigte, warum sich so viele Menschen vorallem von den Büchern begeistern lassen.
Ich stellte mir die Frage warum er das nicht verstehen kann. Biffy Clyro singen in ihrem Song "Know your Quarries" von "... lips that should kiss each others soul". Das ist der Punkt. Wir wollen Dinge die unsere Seele berühren. Und von einer Liebe zu lesen, die alles gibt, die alles ist, lässt uns zurück fallen in unsere Fairytale-World, in der nichts unmöglich ist. Lässt uns daran erinnern, was wir uns alle wünschen. Selbst wenn es kitschig ist, und das Happy-End zuckerwatten-rosarot.

Saving lifes

Jumping out of a plane literally safed my life. I don't know how. It is totally insane. Frightening. And there is nothing like it. As if nothing could ever harm me. It made me feel invicible. Thats what I became. I feel fear, but I feel no pain. No suffering. It's the strangest thing. I feel strangely happy with that. My heart is not addicted to anyone, maybe the first time since... ever. Only sometimes I take a look back, thinking that, if he had loved me, he would have shown. He wouldn't have lied, betrayed me, and now destroying the good memories we had, with his bitterness and the resulting consequences.
It was not meant to be. I would have needed somebody, not pushing life's exit button all the time.
I am jumping out of planes. What could ever harm me? I haven't been happy for quite some time. Now I am. All by myself. It's the strangest thing...