Jumping out of a plane literally safed my life. I don't know how. It is totally insane. Frightening. And there is nothing like it. As if nothing could ever harm me. It made me feel invicible. Thats what I became. I feel fear, but I feel no pain. No suffering. It's the strangest thing. I feel strangely happy with that. My heart is not addicted to anyone, maybe the first time since... ever. Only sometimes I take a look back, thinking that, if he had loved me, he would have shown. He wouldn't have lied, betrayed me, and now destroying the good memories we had, with his bitterness and the resulting consequences.
It was not meant to be. I would have needed somebody, not pushing life's exit button all the time.
I am jumping out of planes. What could ever harm me? I haven't been happy for quite some time. Now I am. All by myself. It's the strangest thing...
Arnold (18.10.09 14:04)
It's beautiful that you are happy again. That nobody was able to change your personality in ways they wanted you to be. It seems you made it possible to start over and start a really new stage in your life.
I wish you the best for this new part and can only hope, that the most of us will be as strong as you, to get a grip on our life's.